I met up with my mother at her house in Connecticut. I was
going home for the weekend anyways because she hasn’t been
feeling too well. My father came out to queens to come get me
and bring me home. When I told my mom I had to do the interview
she wasn’t to thrill at first because she kept complaining about
how she wasn’t feeling too good, but when I got there on Friday
she told me she was feeling better. I was happy so now I didn’t
feel like I had to force her or get a bad interview because she
wasn’t up for it. My mother likes to talk a lot so I knew she
wouldn’t mind me doing an interview on her. I choose a lot of
questions based on my mother’s childhood and earlier life
because I was interested in it. I feel like my mother has shared
a lot of stories with me but she never really goes into dept.
We did the interview in the kitchen during the afternoon. I
wanted to do it at this time because I knew my mother wouldn’t
be busy taking care of my sister or father or have to worry
about making dinner. Her focus would be completely on me and the
interview, no interruptions or noise just us.
Before the interview I kind of just wanted to do it and get
it over with. But as time went on and the questions got more
interesting I was having fun with my mother and felt as if we
were bonding. Her stories were good, sweet, sad, romantic and
made me laugh. My mother is a lovely and friendly woman for the
most part but she really keeps a lot of things inside to herself
so during the interview it was really good to see her opening
herself up more to me. After the interview was over I realized
that my mom was young once and had a life full of lessons and
experiences. Being that see is my mom sometimes that’s all I see
her as and now my eyes are opened to the fact that she is a
daughter, a sister, a lover, and so much more to her than just
being my mother.
My mother is usually all smiles, so her pretty face smiled
all throughout the interview. She talks really fast so I had to
keep telling her to slow down or repeat herself as I was writing
what she said. Her tone of voice is very pleasant. I can tell my
mom sort of felt happy and important to me that I was interested
and what she was saying. I love that feeling and I could tell
she loved it too. For the first time in a long time we had a
conversation that opened us to each other. I learned a lot from
this interview.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
interview with mom
Interview
ME: Can you tell me your name, age, the date you were born, and where you were born?
MOM: Jacqueline Dobson, I am 43 years born on December 10, 1966 in Santo Domingo, D.R.
ME: Who was the most important person in your life? Can you tell me about him or her?
MOM: My mother. She has been through everything with me in my life. She knows everything about myself. She knows when Im hurt when im not hurt. I can always turn to her. We had our share of ups and downs, many disagreements but I know I can always count on her.
ME: What was the happiest moment of your life? The saddest?
MOM: The happiest moment in my life was having you. Holding my baby girl for the first time is a feeling that can’t ever be replaced. When the doctor said you were perfectly healthy it made me really happy because you were almost a preemie. You only weighed 5.5 lbs. everyone was scared to hold you because you were so small. Your uncle was in the marines at the time so he wouldn’t even hold you because he thought you would break (laughs)
The saddest had to be when my father died. It was the worst because I was here in the U.S and I never got to hug, kiss or tell my father I loved him. I didn’t even get a chance to fly down to D.R for the funeral because I had to stay here in the U.S and take care of you and your sister.
ME: What are the most important lessons you've learned in life?
MOM: I learned that you can’t ever take anything in this life for granted. You have to take one day at a time. I been through a lot of tough times in life and it has only made me stronger. I learned to take the good and the bad and make it the most positive I can.
ME: What is your earliest memory?
MOM: When we moved to the United States, I was in kindergarten at that time. I remember always peeing on myself and I felt like a Kat because the teacher always put sand on the floor to get rid of the smell. In the winter I would go home crying everyday because I had wet pantyhose and I had to wait for mom to come during dismissal and we walked home. I hated it. It took me a whole year to stop peeing on myself.
ME: What is your favorite memory of me?
MOM: How you always had a piece of paper and or a pad, crayons or toys and you would always be quiet to yourself playing alone and no one bothering you. You were so peaceful and I could get things done in the house.
ME: Are you proud of me?
Very much. Proud because I never had to really say anything for you to accomplish things in life. You always take the extra step further.
ME: When did you first find out that you'd be a parent? How did you feel?
MOM: In august of 1989. I wasn’t feeling good I had a splitting headache and I had skipped a period. When I went to the doctor to treat the headache they told me I was pregnant. I only weighed 113lb. and the doctor told me I had to gain a lot more weigh to have a healthy pregnancy. I was 22. I felt happy and excited it was a big surprise that I wasn’t expecting.
ME: What are you proudest of in your life?
MOM: Having my two daughters.
ME: Do remember what was going through your head when you first saw me?
MOM: What that’s dot there! (laughs) the birthmark on your forehead is the first thing that caught my eyes when I first saw you. Than doctor said your fine and explained to me that it’s just a birthmark and u had one on your behind and in your eyes. Than I said look at my beautiful small little daughter only 18 inches long with a lot of hair and it was sticking up in a Mohawk.
ME: How did you choose my name?
MOM: I never had a say in the name Ayisha it was all your father and the reason why he chose the name so fast because his third grade first girlfriend name was Ayisha and he loved it. I never heard the name Ayisha before.
ME: What were the hardest moments you had when I was growing up?
MOM: When I was told you had a possible chance of having sicacile because both parent had a trait of sicacile. But thank God you were okay and just had a trait as well.
Than when you lost your left ring finger. I would never forget that day. You were playing on the merry go round in South Carolina and stuck your finger in the hole in the middle. Your finger was hanging off by one nerve. Thank goodness for your aunt Sandra she got a rag and put your finger together and applied pressure. When we got to the hospital the fixed it but he told me if I didn’t do everything right during the healing process they would have to amputate it. Your father was so mad he punched a hole in the wall in the waiting room. I was so scared and did everything I could carefully to save your finger.
ME: What advice would you give me about raising my own kids?
MOM: Make sure your kids respect you. Make sure your kids are leaders and not followers. And make sure they do everything they want to do to their best ability. But most important they have to respect their mother.
ME: How did you meet mom/dad?
MOM: My freshman year in high school back in 1980. We met through mutual friends and we started hanging out together going to movies and house parties. We got closer and on March 10th 1981 We started dating. Your dad is the only boyfriend I ever had.
ME: What are your favorite memories of mom/dad?
MOM: When we went to Orlando back in 1987. We took the train to Bridgeport to Penn. Station. From Penn. Station we went all the way to Orlando. That’s when his mother was staying there and I met her for the first time. That was our first vacation we had fun on the resort. I tanned so much I got sun poison real bad I was like a lobster and he still said I was beautiful I should of listen to him when he told me to use sun screen. We spent the days going to amusement parks and hanging at the pool.
Another time before we got married we went to Times Square for a day just to hang out and have a good time. And he carried me through Grand central on his shoulders I was a tooth pick so he didn’t mind. Times Square and it was a great getaway from Bridgeport just me and him.
ME: What were your parents like?
MOM: My father was a very strong person, but the most loving person to his kids. If you didn’t know him you would probably be scared of him. He was tall and dark with course hair. He was a great father very devoted to me his only daughter. Very strict but now I appreciate all that he has done.
My mother always was a short petite pale skin, with good wavy hair. Very good mother always protected of her children. Very caring about our needs and looks. Cleaning machine always cleaning to this day she is still always cleaning.
ME: What were your grandparents like?
MOM: On my mother side,I LOVE MY GRANDMA! Sweet sweet person! Very short only 4’10 olive skin, Deciated grandma to her grandchildren and her children. Most loving person in the world.
My grandfather was tall pale skin with blue eyes blonde hair. He was part Spain. Stricter than my father believe it or not.
When I was born my grandparents on my father side pasted away when I was born so I never met them.
ME: Did you enjoy school?
MOM: Not really, I wasn’t the smartest kid. I never really liked school. Especially math, I hated math. My favorite subject was Science. I was a C student. I just got by.
ME: What are your best memories of grade school/high school/college/graduate school? Worst memories?
MOM: My best memory in high school was becoming a cheerleader. My freshman year in bassick 80’. Trying out for cheerleader was very in tense. We had to make a sign to show school spirit with our mascot the lion and I sort of cheated I had my brother eddie do it because he is a great artist. I had to learn to be a flyer because I was so skinny I couldn’t care anyone.
My worst memory is when I was sent down to go live with my father in the domincian rep. for three in half years. I was hearbroken because my mother sent me down because she didn’t like the fact I was dating a black boy and I was turning 15. I begged to stay and she wasn’t having it. I loved my school and I didn’t wanna leave my friends and your father. When I moved to D.R I hated it because my step mother was a witch. I felt like I was in jail. I couldn’t use the phone to call your father or any of my friends back in CT.
ME: Do you have any siblings? What were they like growing up?
MOM: Yes two brothers. Michael the youngest who is 40 now and Eddie the oldest who is now 45.
Growing up my brother Eddie was very quiet sweet never bothered anybody. My brother Michael was sweet too and I used to boss him around, probably why he hates me now. I never had a younger sister so I made him be the younger sister I never had.
They never got in trouble, and every time we were all playing an they wasn’t being fair I would tell them “Im telling papi” and my dad would always believe me his little princess. And they would get a whooping!
I was the rebel child out of them all. When I did get in trouble I would always scream for help to Eddie and Michael. I remember one time my dad told my mother he was going to fix me and he locked me in the chicken coop. I screamed for Eddie through the window and they just stared at me. Eddie kept saying sorry I cant help you. Im not going in there with you. I cant even remember what I did. Maybe it was because I was just not listening to my mom. I must have been bout 7. This was when we were living in Puerto rico. My dad was so protected of my I couldn’t do anything I had to always be dress, show no skin, I couldn’t cut my hair it always had to be done. If he came home and I wasn’t dress or if my hair wasn’t done or if I was even bare foot my dad would have a fit and yell at my mother.
ME: What did you look like?
MOM: The same! My face has not changed. I only gained weigh and aged. I was always skinny with long dark brown curly hair. Thin eyebrows pointy long nose. Big elf ears, everything used to sick out so much more because I was so skinny.
ME: Can you tell me about your illness?
MOM: Yes I have MS.
ME: How did you find out?
MOM: Back in 2001 When I had car accident. I went to the doctors I had whiplash in my neck, my tongue was numb, and my right eye was blurry. They did a M.R.I and they discovered I have M.S. they sent me to the neurologist and that is when the treatment began.
ME: Do you look at your life differently now than before you were diagnosed?
MOM: Yes I do. I have to deal with a lot of back pains and muscle spasms. I can’t move fast like I used to do before. I used to be sad before when it started I felt very weak. But now I just hope to get better in time. I look at my life and just realize I have to take one day at a time.
ME: Can you tell me your name, age, the date you were born, and where you were born?
MOM: Jacqueline Dobson, I am 43 years born on December 10, 1966 in Santo Domingo, D.R.
ME: Who was the most important person in your life? Can you tell me about him or her?
MOM: My mother. She has been through everything with me in my life. She knows everything about myself. She knows when Im hurt when im not hurt. I can always turn to her. We had our share of ups and downs, many disagreements but I know I can always count on her.
ME: What was the happiest moment of your life? The saddest?
MOM: The happiest moment in my life was having you. Holding my baby girl for the first time is a feeling that can’t ever be replaced. When the doctor said you were perfectly healthy it made me really happy because you were almost a preemie. You only weighed 5.5 lbs. everyone was scared to hold you because you were so small. Your uncle was in the marines at the time so he wouldn’t even hold you because he thought you would break (laughs)
The saddest had to be when my father died. It was the worst because I was here in the U.S and I never got to hug, kiss or tell my father I loved him. I didn’t even get a chance to fly down to D.R for the funeral because I had to stay here in the U.S and take care of you and your sister.
ME: What are the most important lessons you've learned in life?
MOM: I learned that you can’t ever take anything in this life for granted. You have to take one day at a time. I been through a lot of tough times in life and it has only made me stronger. I learned to take the good and the bad and make it the most positive I can.
ME: What is your earliest memory?
MOM: When we moved to the United States, I was in kindergarten at that time. I remember always peeing on myself and I felt like a Kat because the teacher always put sand on the floor to get rid of the smell. In the winter I would go home crying everyday because I had wet pantyhose and I had to wait for mom to come during dismissal and we walked home. I hated it. It took me a whole year to stop peeing on myself.
ME: What is your favorite memory of me?
MOM: How you always had a piece of paper and or a pad, crayons or toys and you would always be quiet to yourself playing alone and no one bothering you. You were so peaceful and I could get things done in the house.
ME: Are you proud of me?
Very much. Proud because I never had to really say anything for you to accomplish things in life. You always take the extra step further.
ME: When did you first find out that you'd be a parent? How did you feel?
MOM: In august of 1989. I wasn’t feeling good I had a splitting headache and I had skipped a period. When I went to the doctor to treat the headache they told me I was pregnant. I only weighed 113lb. and the doctor told me I had to gain a lot more weigh to have a healthy pregnancy. I was 22. I felt happy and excited it was a big surprise that I wasn’t expecting.
ME: What are you proudest of in your life?
MOM: Having my two daughters.
ME: Do remember what was going through your head when you first saw me?
MOM: What that’s dot there! (laughs) the birthmark on your forehead is the first thing that caught my eyes when I first saw you. Than doctor said your fine and explained to me that it’s just a birthmark and u had one on your behind and in your eyes. Than I said look at my beautiful small little daughter only 18 inches long with a lot of hair and it was sticking up in a Mohawk.
ME: How did you choose my name?
MOM: I never had a say in the name Ayisha it was all your father and the reason why he chose the name so fast because his third grade first girlfriend name was Ayisha and he loved it. I never heard the name Ayisha before.
ME: What were the hardest moments you had when I was growing up?
MOM: When I was told you had a possible chance of having sicacile because both parent had a trait of sicacile. But thank God you were okay and just had a trait as well.
Than when you lost your left ring finger. I would never forget that day. You were playing on the merry go round in South Carolina and stuck your finger in the hole in the middle. Your finger was hanging off by one nerve. Thank goodness for your aunt Sandra she got a rag and put your finger together and applied pressure. When we got to the hospital the fixed it but he told me if I didn’t do everything right during the healing process they would have to amputate it. Your father was so mad he punched a hole in the wall in the waiting room. I was so scared and did everything I could carefully to save your finger.
ME: What advice would you give me about raising my own kids?
MOM: Make sure your kids respect you. Make sure your kids are leaders and not followers. And make sure they do everything they want to do to their best ability. But most important they have to respect their mother.
ME: How did you meet mom/dad?
MOM: My freshman year in high school back in 1980. We met through mutual friends and we started hanging out together going to movies and house parties. We got closer and on March 10th 1981 We started dating. Your dad is the only boyfriend I ever had.
ME: What are your favorite memories of mom/dad?
MOM: When we went to Orlando back in 1987. We took the train to Bridgeport to Penn. Station. From Penn. Station we went all the way to Orlando. That’s when his mother was staying there and I met her for the first time. That was our first vacation we had fun on the resort. I tanned so much I got sun poison real bad I was like a lobster and he still said I was beautiful I should of listen to him when he told me to use sun screen. We spent the days going to amusement parks and hanging at the pool.
Another time before we got married we went to Times Square for a day just to hang out and have a good time. And he carried me through Grand central on his shoulders I was a tooth pick so he didn’t mind. Times Square and it was a great getaway from Bridgeport just me and him.
ME: What were your parents like?
MOM: My father was a very strong person, but the most loving person to his kids. If you didn’t know him you would probably be scared of him. He was tall and dark with course hair. He was a great father very devoted to me his only daughter. Very strict but now I appreciate all that he has done.
My mother always was a short petite pale skin, with good wavy hair. Very good mother always protected of her children. Very caring about our needs and looks. Cleaning machine always cleaning to this day she is still always cleaning.
ME: What were your grandparents like?
MOM: On my mother side,I LOVE MY GRANDMA! Sweet sweet person! Very short only 4’10 olive skin, Deciated grandma to her grandchildren and her children. Most loving person in the world.
My grandfather was tall pale skin with blue eyes blonde hair. He was part Spain. Stricter than my father believe it or not.
When I was born my grandparents on my father side pasted away when I was born so I never met them.
ME: Did you enjoy school?
MOM: Not really, I wasn’t the smartest kid. I never really liked school. Especially math, I hated math. My favorite subject was Science. I was a C student. I just got by.
ME: What are your best memories of grade school/high school/college/graduate school? Worst memories?
MOM: My best memory in high school was becoming a cheerleader. My freshman year in bassick 80’. Trying out for cheerleader was very in tense. We had to make a sign to show school spirit with our mascot the lion and I sort of cheated I had my brother eddie do it because he is a great artist. I had to learn to be a flyer because I was so skinny I couldn’t care anyone.
My worst memory is when I was sent down to go live with my father in the domincian rep. for three in half years. I was hearbroken because my mother sent me down because she didn’t like the fact I was dating a black boy and I was turning 15. I begged to stay and she wasn’t having it. I loved my school and I didn’t wanna leave my friends and your father. When I moved to D.R I hated it because my step mother was a witch. I felt like I was in jail. I couldn’t use the phone to call your father or any of my friends back in CT.
ME: Do you have any siblings? What were they like growing up?
MOM: Yes two brothers. Michael the youngest who is 40 now and Eddie the oldest who is now 45.
Growing up my brother Eddie was very quiet sweet never bothered anybody. My brother Michael was sweet too and I used to boss him around, probably why he hates me now. I never had a younger sister so I made him be the younger sister I never had.
They never got in trouble, and every time we were all playing an they wasn’t being fair I would tell them “Im telling papi” and my dad would always believe me his little princess. And they would get a whooping!
I was the rebel child out of them all. When I did get in trouble I would always scream for help to Eddie and Michael. I remember one time my dad told my mother he was going to fix me and he locked me in the chicken coop. I screamed for Eddie through the window and they just stared at me. Eddie kept saying sorry I cant help you. Im not going in there with you. I cant even remember what I did. Maybe it was because I was just not listening to my mom. I must have been bout 7. This was when we were living in Puerto rico. My dad was so protected of my I couldn’t do anything I had to always be dress, show no skin, I couldn’t cut my hair it always had to be done. If he came home and I wasn’t dress or if my hair wasn’t done or if I was even bare foot my dad would have a fit and yell at my mother.
ME: What did you look like?
MOM: The same! My face has not changed. I only gained weigh and aged. I was always skinny with long dark brown curly hair. Thin eyebrows pointy long nose. Big elf ears, everything used to sick out so much more because I was so skinny.
ME: Can you tell me about your illness?
MOM: Yes I have MS.
ME: How did you find out?
MOM: Back in 2001 When I had car accident. I went to the doctors I had whiplash in my neck, my tongue was numb, and my right eye was blurry. They did a M.R.I and they discovered I have M.S. they sent me to the neurologist and that is when the treatment began.
ME: Do you look at your life differently now than before you were diagnosed?
MOM: Yes I do. I have to deal with a lot of back pains and muscle spasms. I can’t move fast like I used to do before. I used to be sad before when it started I felt very weak. But now I just hope to get better in time. I look at my life and just realize I have to take one day at a time.
bio poem
Line1: First name Jacqueline.
Line 2: Four traits that describe character (beautiful, loving, strong, and independent)
Line 3: Relative of (sister of Eduardo Perez and Michael Perez) {Mother of Ayisha and Ashley Dobson, Daughter or Magaly Reyes and Eduardo Perez}
Line 4: Lover of Bryant Dobson, Cooking, and the color yellow.
Line 5: Who feels loved, pain, and
Line 6: Who needs her family, her soap operas/talk shows, and to learn technology.
Line 7: Who fears getting worse in health, losing a home,
Line 8: Who gives an interview, honest answers, and funny stories.
Line 9: Who would like to see her children grow up to be successful, be healthy again, grow old with husband.
Line 10: Resident of Bridgeport.
Line 11: Last name Dobson.
Line 2: Four traits that describe character (beautiful, loving, strong, and independent)
Line 3: Relative of (sister of Eduardo Perez and Michael Perez) {Mother of Ayisha and Ashley Dobson, Daughter or Magaly Reyes and Eduardo Perez}
Line 4: Lover of Bryant Dobson, Cooking, and the color yellow.
Line 5: Who feels loved, pain, and
Line 6: Who needs her family, her soap operas/talk shows, and to learn technology.
Line 7: Who fears getting worse in health, losing a home,
Line 8: Who gives an interview, honest answers, and funny stories.
Line 9: Who would like to see her children grow up to be successful, be healthy again, grow old with husband.
Line 10: Resident of Bridgeport.
Line 11: Last name Dobson.
10 point essay
What is Good Hair?
1.Good Hair has many definitions. Good hair should not be seen as one special type of hair. It is important to see all different types of hair as good because it can all be seen as beautiful. Limiting ourselves to a certain type of hair isn’t right.
2.I have a lot of friends that are black and say how they want to marry a guy with “good hair” so they can have pretty babies with nice long hair. My roommate tells me how she wants to marry a guy with Asian in him so her babies will be mixed and automatically have “good hair”. See how the desire for good hair goes to extreme. So it seems to be that she might be limiting herself to finding a man because her desire to have kids with “good hair”. Who knows how your kids hair may come out you can’t predict it. But whatever hair they do have it should be considered good hair. People with that mind set will pass that on to their kids and they will live with the constant question “do I have good hair?”
3.-30% to 34% of all hair products in the U.S. are purchased by African American women. And the film contends that hair weaves -- worn by women of all ethnicities but especially notable among black women -- make up about 65% of hair-care revenue.
-Historically, long, straight tresses -- along with pale, white skin -- defined beauty in the United States. Black women, our complexions the hues of a cocoa rainbow and our hair often kinky and short, didn't fit the Eurocentric ideal, and we were made to feel less soft, less lovely, less womanly.
-“Hair became a thing that we obsessed over, searing it into contrition with hot combs and lye, and assigning it the attributes of good (straight/wavy) and evil (naturally nappy.) Indeed, Madam C.J. Walker, a black woman widely regarded as America's first black female millionaire, earned her fortune devising products and techniques that made our hair "behave."
- It is estimated that hair weaves make up to 65% of the $9 billion hair business. That means a whole lot of people wear weaves. Not only black women, but Caucasian women also.
4.Good hair is like having the latest cell phone. Some people are blessed and have it already. And some will do anything to have it. While others are content with having any kind of cell phone and still think theirs is good because they haven’t fallen into societies trap of what is good or best, what you like or have should be how you can determine what is good.
5.Little black girls that have course, nappy, and short hair go to school and face humiliation because they don’t have hair like the white girls that is fine, straight, and long just because they don’t look like everyone else they get laughed at, picked on, and taunted with the phrase “you don’t have good hair.” It is sad that this idea of good hair starts at such a young age and it continues all through life.
6.Some people believe that good hair means to conform like to the European style like hair and the battle for better stronger and longer hair and they believe nappy hair is no good. Others contrast and say good hair isn’t the texture or how fine it is, good hair is keeping your hair maintain and healthy no matter what texture you have. They believe Good hair is how ever you want your hair to be and it should be accepted.
7.One of the causes of this issue is how the media portrays beauty with hair. Every magazine or model photos or any icon the woman have beautiful long full hair. Whether it’s a weave or a perm all the black woman hair has changed to what society says is beautiful. The effect is we see all our famous black woman with this type of hair we began to think what they have is beautiful and what we have is not and we must change and do whatever it takes to our hair to be beautiful like them.
8.“The idea that black hair is unsightly and unmanageable has been reinforced by the majority culture since slavery. Comparing black women and relaxing with white women and the quest for blondeness, as Rock has done, is facile and inaccurate. Black women covet straight hair not just for vanity’s sake, but for social and professional acceptance.”
-She is saying that the theory of good hair goes all the way back to slavery times. Black women hair has always been considered bad and seen in a negative way. To say the way a person hair is unprofessional isn’t fair, when that’s the hair they have been born with naturally. It isn’t fair to black woman that they have to conform because the dark nappy hair they were born with isn’t seen acceptable in society.
9.There is nothing cute about nappy thick hair. You can’t do anything to it. Who wants short course hair? Nobody! Good hair is the Euro-centric look. See all of our beautiful superstars, they have beautiful hair. We should all want that. Girls should do anything and everything to get their hair done like that to have good hair if they weren’t born with it. It must suck to be born with nappy hair. Save yourself the trouble of getting picked on and get a perm, everyone is doing it, why wouldn’t you?
10.A young black girl with course hair and doesn’t like it.
Me: What do you think about your hair?
Girl: I hate it, it’s so thick and poofy I can’t do anything with it. It says at the same length I wish it grew more.
Me: So since you hate it what do you do with it?
Girl: I just put it in a ponytail if I can’t get it done or I just get a weave. I had a perm once before but my hair so that option is out.
Me: A perm? What made you do that to your hair? You didn’t know the risk of the damage you might have caused?
Girl: Yea I knew, but I wanted my hair to be straight and silky. I was tired of the jokes I had to hear about my hair and tired of managing it. I wanted to have good hair and people to like it.
Me: Good hair? You think straight and silky is good hair?
Girl: yea, duh! Don’t you see how all the models and famous people look so beautiful with their long, silky, straight hair. I want hair like that! I want to be beautiful!
Me: Yea it’s nice, but I don’t think it will make someone beautiful just because that’s how their hair is. I think good hair can be your hair. Natural hair is beautiful. As long as it looks clean and it’s being maintained.
1.Good Hair has many definitions. Good hair should not be seen as one special type of hair. It is important to see all different types of hair as good because it can all be seen as beautiful. Limiting ourselves to a certain type of hair isn’t right.
2.I have a lot of friends that are black and say how they want to marry a guy with “good hair” so they can have pretty babies with nice long hair. My roommate tells me how she wants to marry a guy with Asian in him so her babies will be mixed and automatically have “good hair”. See how the desire for good hair goes to extreme. So it seems to be that she might be limiting herself to finding a man because her desire to have kids with “good hair”. Who knows how your kids hair may come out you can’t predict it. But whatever hair they do have it should be considered good hair. People with that mind set will pass that on to their kids and they will live with the constant question “do I have good hair?”
3.-30% to 34% of all hair products in the U.S. are purchased by African American women. And the film contends that hair weaves -- worn by women of all ethnicities but especially notable among black women -- make up about 65% of hair-care revenue.
-Historically, long, straight tresses -- along with pale, white skin -- defined beauty in the United States. Black women, our complexions the hues of a cocoa rainbow and our hair often kinky and short, didn't fit the Eurocentric ideal, and we were made to feel less soft, less lovely, less womanly.
-“Hair became a thing that we obsessed over, searing it into contrition with hot combs and lye, and assigning it the attributes of good (straight/wavy) and evil (naturally nappy.) Indeed, Madam C.J. Walker, a black woman widely regarded as America's first black female millionaire, earned her fortune devising products and techniques that made our hair "behave."
- It is estimated that hair weaves make up to 65% of the $9 billion hair business. That means a whole lot of people wear weaves. Not only black women, but Caucasian women also.
4.Good hair is like having the latest cell phone. Some people are blessed and have it already. And some will do anything to have it. While others are content with having any kind of cell phone and still think theirs is good because they haven’t fallen into societies trap of what is good or best, what you like or have should be how you can determine what is good.
5.Little black girls that have course, nappy, and short hair go to school and face humiliation because they don’t have hair like the white girls that is fine, straight, and long just because they don’t look like everyone else they get laughed at, picked on, and taunted with the phrase “you don’t have good hair.” It is sad that this idea of good hair starts at such a young age and it continues all through life.
6.Some people believe that good hair means to conform like to the European style like hair and the battle for better stronger and longer hair and they believe nappy hair is no good. Others contrast and say good hair isn’t the texture or how fine it is, good hair is keeping your hair maintain and healthy no matter what texture you have. They believe Good hair is how ever you want your hair to be and it should be accepted.
7.One of the causes of this issue is how the media portrays beauty with hair. Every magazine or model photos or any icon the woman have beautiful long full hair. Whether it’s a weave or a perm all the black woman hair has changed to what society says is beautiful. The effect is we see all our famous black woman with this type of hair we began to think what they have is beautiful and what we have is not and we must change and do whatever it takes to our hair to be beautiful like them.
8.“The idea that black hair is unsightly and unmanageable has been reinforced by the majority culture since slavery. Comparing black women and relaxing with white women and the quest for blondeness, as Rock has done, is facile and inaccurate. Black women covet straight hair not just for vanity’s sake, but for social and professional acceptance.”
-She is saying that the theory of good hair goes all the way back to slavery times. Black women hair has always been considered bad and seen in a negative way. To say the way a person hair is unprofessional isn’t fair, when that’s the hair they have been born with naturally. It isn’t fair to black woman that they have to conform because the dark nappy hair they were born with isn’t seen acceptable in society.
9.There is nothing cute about nappy thick hair. You can’t do anything to it. Who wants short course hair? Nobody! Good hair is the Euro-centric look. See all of our beautiful superstars, they have beautiful hair. We should all want that. Girls should do anything and everything to get their hair done like that to have good hair if they weren’t born with it. It must suck to be born with nappy hair. Save yourself the trouble of getting picked on and get a perm, everyone is doing it, why wouldn’t you?
10.A young black girl with course hair and doesn’t like it.
Me: What do you think about your hair?
Girl: I hate it, it’s so thick and poofy I can’t do anything with it. It says at the same length I wish it grew more.
Me: So since you hate it what do you do with it?
Girl: I just put it in a ponytail if I can’t get it done or I just get a weave. I had a perm once before but my hair so that option is out.
Me: A perm? What made you do that to your hair? You didn’t know the risk of the damage you might have caused?
Girl: Yea I knew, but I wanted my hair to be straight and silky. I was tired of the jokes I had to hear about my hair and tired of managing it. I wanted to have good hair and people to like it.
Me: Good hair? You think straight and silky is good hair?
Girl: yea, duh! Don’t you see how all the models and famous people look so beautiful with their long, silky, straight hair. I want hair like that! I want to be beautiful!
Me: Yea it’s nice, but I don’t think it will make someone beautiful just because that’s how their hair is. I think good hair can be your hair. Natural hair is beautiful. As long as it looks clean and it’s being maintained.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Rant
just another black person is all you see.
just another black person why can't I just be me.
is it because the color of my skin that you can't see within
or the dark, thick texture of my hair that is so lovely, that you have made society see as ugly
is it because my features stand out
my eyes big and brown and not blue like you
or maybe because I dont speak the same way as you do
why can't you see me as a person I am and treat me with respect
I am no lower than you, I can act just as you
but I choose not to because I am not you just me
not just another black person just me
a beautiful person that has so much to offer and is just as equal of a human being as you
but you are to blind to see, so ..
just another black person is all you see.
just another black person why can't I just be me.
just another black person why can't I just be me.
is it because the color of my skin that you can't see within
or the dark, thick texture of my hair that is so lovely, that you have made society see as ugly
is it because my features stand out
my eyes big and brown and not blue like you
or maybe because I dont speak the same way as you do
why can't you see me as a person I am and treat me with respect
I am no lower than you, I can act just as you
but I choose not to because I am not you just me
not just another black person just me
a beautiful person that has so much to offer and is just as equal of a human being as you
but you are to blind to see, so ..
just another black person is all you see.
just another black person why can't I just be me.
8 paragraph essay
In middle school I always compared myself to all the other girls in my class. I always wanted to fit in and look like the other girls. Starting from the fifth grade girls started to change and develop more.
In fifth grade my school started to show videos on how the female body changes and starts to go through puberty. By this time at least have of the girls in my class had their period but for me there was no sign of it coming anytime school. During recess the topics of discussed changed from “let’s play hopscotch!” to “did you get your period yet?” Every day I had the same answer “no, not yet.’ I felt left out.
As we move up to the six grade the girls in my class start to gain more weigh, develop breast and start to get curves. Once again I was the outcast. I felt like the ugly duckling in the crowd. The girls started now talking about what size bra they wear at recess and I was still wearing a training bra. Flat as a board weighing only 90 lbs. I would never express this feeling out loud, I just asked myself all the time “Why me?
Why do I have to be the only one late? While everyone is perfect and on time.”
Looking different from everyone wasn’t cool. It was like wearing a bright red coat in crowd. I stood out from all the girls. In every way possible I was the contrast of every girl in class, or at least that is what it felt like. Girls started to like boys and boys started to like girls. But you see the thing here is that boys only like the girls who had boobs and looked older so while everyone was busy making little boyfriends I still only had my best friends.
In the seventh grade I got my period and started to develop and was able to wear a real bra. I was in total shock and excited! Finally I will fit in; finally I will look like all the other girls. Now I felt that I was beautiful and becoming a young lady and the boys would start to like me.
Now that I look back I learned that I can’t go through life wanted to be like everyone else and comparing myself just because I am different. I have to accept that some things I have no control over and just happen on their own when they’re ready to.
In fifth grade my school started to show videos on how the female body changes and starts to go through puberty. By this time at least have of the girls in my class had their period but for me there was no sign of it coming anytime school. During recess the topics of discussed changed from “let’s play hopscotch!” to “did you get your period yet?” Every day I had the same answer “no, not yet.’ I felt left out.
As we move up to the six grade the girls in my class start to gain more weigh, develop breast and start to get curves. Once again I was the outcast. I felt like the ugly duckling in the crowd. The girls started now talking about what size bra they wear at recess and I was still wearing a training bra. Flat as a board weighing only 90 lbs. I would never express this feeling out loud, I just asked myself all the time “Why me?
Why do I have to be the only one late? While everyone is perfect and on time.”
Looking different from everyone wasn’t cool. It was like wearing a bright red coat in crowd. I stood out from all the girls. In every way possible I was the contrast of every girl in class, or at least that is what it felt like. Girls started to like boys and boys started to like girls. But you see the thing here is that boys only like the girls who had boobs and looked older so while everyone was busy making little boyfriends I still only had my best friends.
In the seventh grade I got my period and started to develop and was able to wear a real bra. I was in total shock and excited! Finally I will fit in; finally I will look like all the other girls. Now I felt that I was beautiful and becoming a young lady and the boys would start to like me.
Now that I look back I learned that I can’t go through life wanted to be like everyone else and comparing myself just because I am different. I have to accept that some things I have no control over and just happen on their own when they’re ready to.
experience that changed my life
It was just four years ago in March 2006. I got a call at 2
am from my ex boyfriend’s cousin saying that my ex boyfriend
Brian had gotten shot twice and he is being rushed to the
hospital. I dropped the phone and started to cry. This was the
first time I had ever gotten a phone call about something tragic
happening to someone close to me. Even though we were not
together as a couple we were still good friends. We had a tight
circle of friends since grammar school so our breakup didn’t
affect our friendship.
After I heard the bad news, I and our best friend rushed
to the hospital along with his family and other friends and prayer for him to be okay. The Good news is that he was going to be okay. He lost a lot of blood but made it in time to the hospital. Brian was a good kid never was into drama or violence he just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. This changed my whole outlook on life. You can’t take anything for granted not even your life because it can be taken away at any moment and you have no control of it. When he was able to see us he couldn’t stop telling us how much he loved us all. This made me realizes we should always tell people how much we care and express our true feelings because you never know when you will be able to again. Live lives to its fullest don’t wait for a life changing experience to make you realize what you have.
am from my ex boyfriend’s cousin saying that my ex boyfriend
Brian had gotten shot twice and he is being rushed to the
hospital. I dropped the phone and started to cry. This was the
first time I had ever gotten a phone call about something tragic
happening to someone close to me. Even though we were not
together as a couple we were still good friends. We had a tight
circle of friends since grammar school so our breakup didn’t
affect our friendship.
After I heard the bad news, I and our best friend rushed
to the hospital along with his family and other friends and prayer for him to be okay. The Good news is that he was going to be okay. He lost a lot of blood but made it in time to the hospital. Brian was a good kid never was into drama or violence he just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. This changed my whole outlook on life. You can’t take anything for granted not even your life because it can be taken away at any moment and you have no control of it. When he was able to see us he couldn’t stop telling us how much he loved us all. This made me realizes we should always tell people how much we care and express our true feelings because you never know when you will be able to again. Live lives to its fullest don’t wait for a life changing experience to make you realize what you have.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
spirituality/nature
A spiritual memory I had in my life is when I went on a youth pilgrimage to Lourdes, France. When we were in the domain and got to touch the grotto while saying a prayer before seeing the water that ran for the fountain of youth I felt very spiritually connected. While saying a prayer for Mother I felt as if Mary was really listening. At this time my mother was just recently diagnosed with M.S. A lot of people who are ill visit the fountain of youth because there has been many cases of people were sick being healed by the holy water. Not only was praying a spiritual memory for me but the whole journey was.
A time I felt connected to nature was on a field trip to a place called nature’s classroom. We were basically outdoors 24/7. I never really saw myself to be an outdoors kind of girl, it just wasn’t my style. But on this trip we saw the real beauty to nature and how wonderful it is. Growing up in a city you don’t really get to really appreciate nature. With all the tall buildings and pollution clouding the air you don’t really know what a fresh breathe a air might feel like. In the wilderness a fresh breathe of air is refreshing and relieving.
Sometimes, you can try to express yourself but sometimes it’s hard to find the right words to fit to get your point across. Or trying to describe a feeling or the feeling might be indescribable.
A time I felt connected to nature was on a field trip to a place called nature’s classroom. We were basically outdoors 24/7. I never really saw myself to be an outdoors kind of girl, it just wasn’t my style. But on this trip we saw the real beauty to nature and how wonderful it is. Growing up in a city you don’t really get to really appreciate nature. With all the tall buildings and pollution clouding the air you don’t really know what a fresh breathe a air might feel like. In the wilderness a fresh breathe of air is refreshing and relieving.
Sometimes, you can try to express yourself but sometimes it’s hard to find the right words to fit to get your point across. Or trying to describe a feeling or the feeling might be indescribable.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
uncomfortable situation
It was my senior year at Kolbe Cathedral high school, a small catholic school
located in my hometown Bridgeport, CT. Being a senior had a lot of advantages. We were allowed to have different color polo uniform tops and leave school at noon during the second half of the school year. The only rule to leaving the school early was you couldn’t roam the halls you had to leave immediately, go to the cafeteria, or to the library. One afternoon I didn’t have a ride home and neither did my best friends D’atra or Monea. We decided that were going to just wait and waste time in the library.
D’atra decided to go get some reading finished and take a seat at the table. Monea logged on to one of the school’s computer to finish a project. I didn’t have any work to finish so I just took a seat on the couch and took a short nap until my grandmother arrived. We weren’t the only students in the library; there was a group of seniors gathered at a table not doing much. There was a class with a teacher who didn’t care too much about the noise level of his students and other teachers just sitting around grading work.
An hour goes by the library is fairly cleared but me and my friends were still in there. I got the call from my grandmother saying come outside. I told my friends let’s get up and go she’s outside and all of a sudden there’s an announcement over the intercom saying “Will Ayisha Dobson, D’atra Cannon, and Monea White please report to the office.” Now that is running through my mind is what could we have possibly done know. Keep in mind neither I nor my friends get in trouble a lot. We’re honor students who had good grades and we’re on the cheerleading squad. The only problems I ever had were stupid, like getting my cell phone taken away, falling asleep in class, or to pull down my uniform skirt. The assistant principal took things over board all the time. Her name was Mrs. Matson and nobody liked her too much. If you can see where I’m going with this, I’m trying to say we didn’t have too much of a good relationship.
Back to getting called down to the office. As soon as we arrive Mrs. Matson was there standing with a smirk on her face and says “Ladies please step in my office for a second.” We follow, she proceeds “I was told that you ladies were being noisy and disruptive in the library, while teachers were trying to get work down and teach classes you know this is highly unacceptable.” After she said this the looks on our faces just changed and we were completely confused. As I said before my friends were doing work and I was napping quietly on the couch. We told Mrs. Matson exactly what we were doing and she told us we were lying. We were being accused of something we did not do and we couldn’t do anything about it. This was the most awkward and uncomfortable situation I been in all through high school because I feel that this was just so unjust.
Here’s another thing to the situation we were the only people of color out of the students and teachers in the library. The people who were loud in the library where the students who were in the class and the group of seniors who were in the library doing nothing. For a second I felt like we took a trip back in time and in a racism situation, because Mrs. Matson didn’t let us argue our case or tell us how she heard that we was loud. She continued with a punishment that didn’t fit the crime. We had our senior privilege of leaving early taken away until further notice and we had to sit on her bench until further notice. This was so unfair and we couldn’t do anything because we had to leave my grandmother was still waiting for us this whole time.
When I got home I told my mom about what happened and she agreed that this didn’t seem fair. The next day at school we decide we wanted to have another talk with Mrs. Matson to confront her on how we felt about the situation. Again we couldn’t win. I have a bad habit of speaking up a little bit too much and I called her a racist out of anger. It wasn’t the best thing to do but it’s what felt right at the moment. That gained me two more weeks on the bench and after that I didn’t speak to Mrs. Matson and I tried avoiding her as much as possible because every time I saw her after this it felt awkward.
A month later I was called down to Mrs. Matson office again. She said she wanted to speak to me about why do people called others racist. She apologized and I told why I felt that way. After that I let go of the situation but I still never looked at her the same. Frankly I was happy that after graduation I didn’t have to see her again.
Literacy Autobiography Questions
Ayisha Dobson
February 9, 2009
ENG-1000C
1. My first thoughts about words, reading, and writing would have to date back to preschool. I started when I was three and I can remember learning the alphabet, having my teachers and parents read me stories and tracing letters. I learned to speak English and Spanish from my parents and grandparents mostly.
2. An early experience I had with music had to be when Selena died back in 1995. My cousin and I were in love with her last hit “dreaming of you” When read and studied the lyrics over and over. I learned to appreciate music and actually really pay attentions to the words. It touched me in an emotional sense.
3. Spanish, my mother is Dominican which makes me half Dominican. I don’t speak proper or fluently. I understand a lot and can speak well enough to get by. I can write in Spanish a little. I use my Spanish when speaking to my mother’s side of the family. Or when I travel or happen to be only around Spanish speaking people I can translate for others or communicate with the Spanish speaking people. A couple of times at my different workplaces I had to use Spanish to help customers or my co-workers.
4. I don’t really face conflicts with my home language. But I can say I have a bad habit of using internet lingo to express myself. When doing school work sometimes I have to correct myself because I can catch myself writing like I’m talking on the web or talking with friends.
5. I remember learning how to write, read, and spell in my first years of grammar school. In the first grade I remember we had spelling and reading test every single Friday. I was obsessed with perfection and I wouldn’t settle for less than 100. My mom quizzed me every Thursday night before bedtime to make sure I was prepared to get 100 on that test the next day.
6. When I was in the six grade I wrote a poem about 9/11. It started off as just a class assignment but my teacher was really impressed and entered my poem into a local contest. My poem won and my principal made me write it on a big poster board draw it a picture along with it. It was posted in the hallways for everyone to see. I felt accomplished with my writing skills and poetry.
7. Yes I fall in love all the time with lyrics to songs. Mainly to pieces by Alicia Keys, Beyonce, John Legend, India Arie, and the list goes on. One of my all time favorites is Beyonce “flaws and all”.
8. My high school English teacher, Mrs. Bartholomew. She was very stern but she cared to help all of her students whenever we needed help.
9. Diaries, letters, online writing and poetry help me find myself. My writing comes out from the inside. I can express myself more and be true. I can express myself more freely and not hold back and say whatever I have to say and what’s on my mind.
10. To be honest I don’t read on my free time as much as I should. But if I do read a book for leisure it’s because someone told me it was a really good book or I had to read it for an assignment. I know every time I read I learn something new and I expand my vocabulary.
11. I prefer to type on my laptop when writing and I like a lounge setting. I hate complete silence so I like it when a movie is playing or music in the back playing softly. But when I’m writing a letter or poem I usually tend to grab a pen and paper and just start writing.
12. As a writer and learner I think my strengths are my ability to listen well and learn quickly. I can take advice from others to better myself. I like to learn and hear of ways to better my writing. I can contribute my thoughts and what I think can help others in my learning community.
February 9, 2009
ENG-1000C
1. My first thoughts about words, reading, and writing would have to date back to preschool. I started when I was three and I can remember learning the alphabet, having my teachers and parents read me stories and tracing letters. I learned to speak English and Spanish from my parents and grandparents mostly.
2. An early experience I had with music had to be when Selena died back in 1995. My cousin and I were in love with her last hit “dreaming of you” When read and studied the lyrics over and over. I learned to appreciate music and actually really pay attentions to the words. It touched me in an emotional sense.
3. Spanish, my mother is Dominican which makes me half Dominican. I don’t speak proper or fluently. I understand a lot and can speak well enough to get by. I can write in Spanish a little. I use my Spanish when speaking to my mother’s side of the family. Or when I travel or happen to be only around Spanish speaking people I can translate for others or communicate with the Spanish speaking people. A couple of times at my different workplaces I had to use Spanish to help customers or my co-workers.
4. I don’t really face conflicts with my home language. But I can say I have a bad habit of using internet lingo to express myself. When doing school work sometimes I have to correct myself because I can catch myself writing like I’m talking on the web or talking with friends.
5. I remember learning how to write, read, and spell in my first years of grammar school. In the first grade I remember we had spelling and reading test every single Friday. I was obsessed with perfection and I wouldn’t settle for less than 100. My mom quizzed me every Thursday night before bedtime to make sure I was prepared to get 100 on that test the next day.
6. When I was in the six grade I wrote a poem about 9/11. It started off as just a class assignment but my teacher was really impressed and entered my poem into a local contest. My poem won and my principal made me write it on a big poster board draw it a picture along with it. It was posted in the hallways for everyone to see. I felt accomplished with my writing skills and poetry.
7. Yes I fall in love all the time with lyrics to songs. Mainly to pieces by Alicia Keys, Beyonce, John Legend, India Arie, and the list goes on. One of my all time favorites is Beyonce “flaws and all”.
8. My high school English teacher, Mrs. Bartholomew. She was very stern but she cared to help all of her students whenever we needed help.
9. Diaries, letters, online writing and poetry help me find myself. My writing comes out from the inside. I can express myself more and be true. I can express myself more freely and not hold back and say whatever I have to say and what’s on my mind.
10. To be honest I don’t read on my free time as much as I should. But if I do read a book for leisure it’s because someone told me it was a really good book or I had to read it for an assignment. I know every time I read I learn something new and I expand my vocabulary.
11. I prefer to type on my laptop when writing and I like a lounge setting. I hate complete silence so I like it when a movie is playing or music in the back playing softly. But when I’m writing a letter or poem I usually tend to grab a pen and paper and just start writing.
12. As a writer and learner I think my strengths are my ability to listen well and learn quickly. I can take advice from others to better myself. I like to learn and hear of ways to better my writing. I can contribute my thoughts and what I think can help others in my learning community.
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