Wednesday, April 28, 2010

interview with mom

Interview

ME: Can you tell me your name, age, the date you were born, and where you were born?
MOM: Jacqueline Dobson, I am 43 years born on December 10, 1966 in Santo Domingo, D.R.
ME: Who was the most important person in your life? Can you tell me about him or her?
MOM: My mother. She has been through everything with me in my life. She knows everything about myself. She knows when Im hurt when im not hurt. I can always turn to her. We had our share of ups and downs, many disagreements but I know I can always count on her.

ME: What was the happiest moment of your life? The saddest?
MOM: The happiest moment in my life was having you. Holding my baby girl for the first time is a feeling that can’t ever be replaced. When the doctor said you were perfectly healthy it made me really happy because you were almost a preemie. You only weighed 5.5 lbs. everyone was scared to hold you because you were so small. Your uncle was in the marines at the time so he wouldn’t even hold you because he thought you would break (laughs)
The saddest had to be when my father died. It was the worst because I was here in the U.S and I never got to hug, kiss or tell my father I loved him. I didn’t even get a chance to fly down to D.R for the funeral because I had to stay here in the U.S and take care of you and your sister.

ME: What are the most important lessons you've learned in life?
MOM: I learned that you can’t ever take anything in this life for granted. You have to take one day at a time. I been through a lot of tough times in life and it has only made me stronger. I learned to take the good and the bad and make it the most positive I can.

ME: What is your earliest memory?
MOM: When we moved to the United States, I was in kindergarten at that time. I remember always peeing on myself and I felt like a Kat because the teacher always put sand on the floor to get rid of the smell. In the winter I would go home crying everyday because I had wet pantyhose and I had to wait for mom to come during dismissal and we walked home. I hated it. It took me a whole year to stop peeing on myself.

ME: What is your favorite memory of me?
MOM: How you always had a piece of paper and or a pad, crayons or toys and you would always be quiet to yourself playing alone and no one bothering you. You were so peaceful and I could get things done in the house.

ME: Are you proud of me?
Very much. Proud because I never had to really say anything for you to accomplish things in life. You always take the extra step further.

ME: When did you first find out that you'd be a parent? How did you feel?
MOM: In august of 1989. I wasn’t feeling good I had a splitting headache and I had skipped a period. When I went to the doctor to treat the headache they told me I was pregnant. I only weighed 113lb. and the doctor told me I had to gain a lot more weigh to have a healthy pregnancy. I was 22. I felt happy and excited it was a big surprise that I wasn’t expecting.
ME: What are you proudest of in your life?
MOM: Having my two daughters.

ME: Do remember what was going through your head when you first saw me?
MOM: What that’s dot there! (laughs) the birthmark on your forehead is the first thing that caught my eyes when I first saw you. Than doctor said your fine and explained to me that it’s just a birthmark and u had one on your behind and in your eyes. Than I said look at my beautiful small little daughter only 18 inches long with a lot of hair and it was sticking up in a Mohawk.

ME: How did you choose my name?
MOM: I never had a say in the name Ayisha it was all your father and the reason why he chose the name so fast because his third grade first girlfriend name was Ayisha and he loved it. I never heard the name Ayisha before.

ME: What were the hardest moments you had when I was growing up?
MOM: When I was told you had a possible chance of having sicacile because both parent had a trait of sicacile. But thank God you were okay and just had a trait as well.
Than when you lost your left ring finger. I would never forget that day. You were playing on the merry go round in South Carolina and stuck your finger in the hole in the middle. Your finger was hanging off by one nerve. Thank goodness for your aunt Sandra she got a rag and put your finger together and applied pressure. When we got to the hospital the fixed it but he told me if I didn’t do everything right during the healing process they would have to amputate it. Your father was so mad he punched a hole in the wall in the waiting room. I was so scared and did everything I could carefully to save your finger.

ME: What advice would you give me about raising my own kids?
MOM: Make sure your kids respect you. Make sure your kids are leaders and not followers. And make sure they do everything they want to do to their best ability. But most important they have to respect their mother.

ME: How did you meet mom/dad?
MOM: My freshman year in high school back in 1980. We met through mutual friends and we started hanging out together going to movies and house parties. We got closer and on March 10th 1981 We started dating. Your dad is the only boyfriend I ever had.

ME: What are your favorite memories of mom/dad?
MOM: When we went to Orlando back in 1987. We took the train to Bridgeport to Penn. Station. From Penn. Station we went all the way to Orlando. That’s when his mother was staying there and I met her for the first time. That was our first vacation we had fun on the resort. I tanned so much I got sun poison real bad I was like a lobster and he still said I was beautiful I should of listen to him when he told me to use sun screen. We spent the days going to amusement parks and hanging at the pool.
Another time before we got married we went to Times Square for a day just to hang out and have a good time. And he carried me through Grand central on his shoulders I was a tooth pick so he didn’t mind. Times Square and it was a great getaway from Bridgeport just me and him.

ME: What were your parents like?
MOM: My father was a very strong person, but the most loving person to his kids. If you didn’t know him you would probably be scared of him. He was tall and dark with course hair. He was a great father very devoted to me his only daughter. Very strict but now I appreciate all that he has done.
My mother always was a short petite pale skin, with good wavy hair. Very good mother always protected of her children. Very caring about our needs and looks. Cleaning machine always cleaning to this day she is still always cleaning.

ME: What were your grandparents like?
MOM: On my mother side,I LOVE MY GRANDMA! Sweet sweet person! Very short only 4’10 olive skin, Deciated grandma to her grandchildren and her children. Most loving person in the world.
My grandfather was tall pale skin with blue eyes blonde hair. He was part Spain. Stricter than my father believe it or not.
When I was born my grandparents on my father side pasted away when I was born so I never met them.

ME: Did you enjoy school?
MOM: Not really, I wasn’t the smartest kid. I never really liked school. Especially math, I hated math. My favorite subject was Science. I was a C student. I just got by.


ME: What are your best memories of grade school/high school/college/graduate school? Worst memories?

MOM: My best memory in high school was becoming a cheerleader. My freshman year in bassick 80’. Trying out for cheerleader was very in tense. We had to make a sign to show school spirit with our mascot the lion and I sort of cheated I had my brother eddie do it because he is a great artist. I had to learn to be a flyer because I was so skinny I couldn’t care anyone.
My worst memory is when I was sent down to go live with my father in the domincian rep. for three in half years. I was hearbroken because my mother sent me down because she didn’t like the fact I was dating a black boy and I was turning 15. I begged to stay and she wasn’t having it. I loved my school and I didn’t wanna leave my friends and your father. When I moved to D.R I hated it because my step mother was a witch. I felt like I was in jail. I couldn’t use the phone to call your father or any of my friends back in CT.
ME: Do you have any siblings? What were they like growing up?
MOM: Yes two brothers. Michael the youngest who is 40 now and Eddie the oldest who is now 45.
Growing up my brother Eddie was very quiet sweet never bothered anybody. My brother Michael was sweet too and I used to boss him around, probably why he hates me now. I never had a younger sister so I made him be the younger sister I never had.
They never got in trouble, and every time we were all playing an they wasn’t being fair I would tell them “Im telling papi” and my dad would always believe me his little princess. And they would get a whooping!

I was the rebel child out of them all. When I did get in trouble I would always scream for help to Eddie and Michael. I remember one time my dad told my mother he was going to fix me and he locked me in the chicken coop. I screamed for Eddie through the window and they just stared at me. Eddie kept saying sorry I cant help you. Im not going in there with you. I cant even remember what I did. Maybe it was because I was just not listening to my mom. I must have been bout 7. This was when we were living in Puerto rico. My dad was so protected of my I couldn’t do anything I had to always be dress, show no skin, I couldn’t cut my hair it always had to be done. If he came home and I wasn’t dress or if my hair wasn’t done or if I was even bare foot my dad would have a fit and yell at my mother.

ME: What did you look like?
MOM: The same! My face has not changed. I only gained weigh and aged. I was always skinny with long dark brown curly hair. Thin eyebrows pointy long nose. Big elf ears, everything used to sick out so much more because I was so skinny.

ME: Can you tell me about your illness?
MOM: Yes I have MS.
ME: How did you find out?
MOM: Back in 2001 When I had car accident. I went to the doctors I had whiplash in my neck, my tongue was numb, and my right eye was blurry. They did a M.R.I and they discovered I have M.S. they sent me to the neurologist and that is when the treatment began.



ME: Do you look at your life differently now than before you were diagnosed?
MOM: Yes I do. I have to deal with a lot of back pains and muscle spasms. I can’t move fast like I used to do before. I used to be sad before when it started I felt very weak. But now I just hope to get better in time. I look at my life and just realize I have to take one day at a time.

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