Wednesday, April 28, 2010

story of interview

I met up with my mother at her house in Connecticut. I was

going home for the weekend anyways because she hasn’t been

feeling too well. My father came out to queens to come get me

and bring me home. When I told my mom I had to do the interview

she wasn’t to thrill at first because she kept complaining about

how she wasn’t feeling too good, but when I got there on Friday

she told me she was feeling better. I was happy so now I didn’t

feel like I had to force her or get a bad interview because she

wasn’t up for it. My mother likes to talk a lot so I knew she

wouldn’t mind me doing an interview on her. I choose a lot of

questions based on my mother’s childhood and earlier life

because I was interested in it. I feel like my mother has shared

a lot of stories with me but she never really goes into dept.

We did the interview in the kitchen during the afternoon. I

wanted to do it at this time because I knew my mother wouldn’t

be busy taking care of my sister or father or have to worry

about making dinner. Her focus would be completely on me and the

interview, no interruptions or noise just us.

Before the interview I kind of just wanted to do it and get

it over with. But as time went on and the questions got more

interesting I was having fun with my mother and felt as if we

were bonding. Her stories were good, sweet, sad, romantic and

made me laugh. My mother is a lovely and friendly woman for the

most part but she really keeps a lot of things inside to herself

so during the interview it was really good to see her opening

herself up more to me. After the interview was over I realized

that my mom was young once and had a life full of lessons and

experiences. Being that see is my mom sometimes that’s all I see

her as and now my eyes are opened to the fact that she is a

daughter, a sister, a lover, and so much more to her than just

being my mother.

My mother is usually all smiles, so her pretty face smiled

all throughout the interview. She talks really fast so I had to

keep telling her to slow down or repeat herself as I was writing

what she said. Her tone of voice is very pleasant. I can tell my

mom sort of felt happy and important to me that I was interested

and what she was saying. I love that feeling and I could tell

she loved it too. For the first time in a long time we had a

conversation that opened us to each other. I learned a lot from

this interview.

interview with mom


ME: Can you tell me your name, age, the date you were born, and where you were born?
MOM: Jacqueline Dobson, I am 43 years born on December 10, 1966 in Santo Domingo, D.R.
ME: Who was the most important person in your life? Can you tell me about him or her?
MOM: My mother. She has been through everything with me in my life. She knows everything about myself. She knows when Im hurt when im not hurt. I can always turn to her. We had our share of ups and downs, many disagreements but I know I can always count on her.

ME: What was the happiest moment of your life? The saddest?
MOM: The happiest moment in my life was having you. Holding my baby girl for the first time is a feeling that can’t ever be replaced. When the doctor said you were perfectly healthy it made me really happy because you were almost a preemie. You only weighed 5.5 lbs. everyone was scared to hold you because you were so small. Your uncle was in the marines at the time so he wouldn’t even hold you because he thought you would break (laughs)
The saddest had to be when my father died. It was the worst because I was here in the U.S and I never got to hug, kiss or tell my father I loved him. I didn’t even get a chance to fly down to D.R for the funeral because I had to stay here in the U.S and take care of you and your sister.

ME: What are the most important lessons you've learned in life?
MOM: I learned that you can’t ever take anything in this life for granted. You have to take one day at a time. I been through a lot of tough times in life and it has only made me stronger. I learned to take the good and the bad and make it the most positive I can.

ME: What is your earliest memory?
MOM: When we moved to the United States, I was in kindergarten at that time. I remember always peeing on myself and I felt like a Kat because the teacher always put sand on the floor to get rid of the smell. In the winter I would go home crying everyday because I had wet pantyhose and I had to wait for mom to come during dismissal and we walked home. I hated it. It took me a whole year to stop peeing on myself.

ME: What is your favorite memory of me?
MOM: How you always had a piece of paper and or a pad, crayons or toys and you would always be quiet to yourself playing alone and no one bothering you. You were so peaceful and I could get things done in the house.

ME: Are you proud of me?
Very much. Proud because I never had to really say anything for you to accomplish things in life. You always take the extra step further.

ME: When did you first find out that you'd be a parent? How did you feel?
MOM: In august of 1989. I wasn’t feeling good I had a splitting headache and I had skipped a period. When I went to the doctor to treat the headache they told me I was pregnant. I only weighed 113lb. and the doctor told me I had to gain a lot more weigh to have a healthy pregnancy. I was 22. I felt happy and excited it was a big surprise that I wasn’t expecting.
ME: What are you proudest of in your life?
MOM: Having my two daughters.

ME: Do remember what was going through your head when you first saw me?
MOM: What that’s dot there! (laughs) the birthmark on your forehead is the first thing that caught my eyes when I first saw you. Than doctor said your fine and explained to me that it’s just a birthmark and u had one on your behind and in your eyes. Than I said look at my beautiful small little daughter only 18 inches long with a lot of hair and it was sticking up in a Mohawk.

ME: How did you choose my name?
MOM: I never had a say in the name Ayisha it was all your father and the reason why he chose the name so fast because his third grade first girlfriend name was Ayisha and he loved it. I never heard the name Ayisha before.

ME: What were the hardest moments you had when I was growing up?
MOM: When I was told you had a possible chance of having sicacile because both parent had a trait of sicacile. But thank God you were okay and just had a trait as well.
Than when you lost your left ring finger. I would never forget that day. You were playing on the merry go round in South Carolina and stuck your finger in the hole in the middle. Your finger was hanging off by one nerve. Thank goodness for your aunt Sandra she got a rag and put your finger together and applied pressure. When we got to the hospital the fixed it but he told me if I didn’t do everything right during the healing process they would have to amputate it. Your father was so mad he punched a hole in the wall in the waiting room. I was so scared and did everything I could carefully to save your finger.

ME: What advice would you give me about raising my own kids?
MOM: Make sure your kids respect you. Make sure your kids are leaders and not followers. And make sure they do everything they want to do to their best ability. But most important they have to respect their mother.

ME: How did you meet mom/dad?
MOM: My freshman year in high school back in 1980. We met through mutual friends and we started hanging out together going to movies and house parties. We got closer and on March 10th 1981 We started dating. Your dad is the only boyfriend I ever had.

ME: What are your favorite memories of mom/dad?
MOM: When we went to Orlando back in 1987. We took the train to Bridgeport to Penn. Station. From Penn. Station we went all the way to Orlando. That’s when his mother was staying there and I met her for the first time. That was our first vacation we had fun on the resort. I tanned so much I got sun poison real bad I was like a lobster and he still said I was beautiful I should of listen to him when he told me to use sun screen. We spent the days going to amusement parks and hanging at the pool.
Another time before we got married we went to Times Square for a day just to hang out and have a good time. And he carried me through Grand central on his shoulders I was a tooth pick so he didn’t mind. Times Square and it was a great getaway from Bridgeport just me and him.

ME: What were your parents like?
MOM: My father was a very strong person, but the most loving person to his kids. If you didn’t know him you would probably be scared of him. He was tall and dark with course hair. He was a great father very devoted to me his only daughter. Very strict but now I appreciate all that he has done.
My mother always was a short petite pale skin, with good wavy hair. Very good mother always protected of her children. Very caring about our needs and looks. Cleaning machine always cleaning to this day she is still always cleaning.

ME: What were your grandparents like?
MOM: On my mother side,I LOVE MY GRANDMA! Sweet sweet person! Very short only 4’10 olive skin, Deciated grandma to her grandchildren and her children. Most loving person in the world.
My grandfather was tall pale skin with blue eyes blonde hair. He was part Spain. Stricter than my father believe it or not.
When I was born my grandparents on my father side pasted away when I was born so I never met them.

ME: Did you enjoy school?
MOM: Not really, I wasn’t the smartest kid. I never really liked school. Especially math, I hated math. My favorite subject was Science. I was a C student. I just got by.

ME: What are your best memories of grade school/high school/college/graduate school? Worst memories?

MOM: My best memory in high school was becoming a cheerleader. My freshman year in bassick 80’. Trying out for cheerleader was very in tense. We had to make a sign to show school spirit with our mascot the lion and I sort of cheated I had my brother eddie do it because he is a great artist. I had to learn to be a flyer because I was so skinny I couldn’t care anyone.
My worst memory is when I was sent down to go live with my father in the domincian rep. for three in half years. I was hearbroken because my mother sent me down because she didn’t like the fact I was dating a black boy and I was turning 15. I begged to stay and she wasn’t having it. I loved my school and I didn’t wanna leave my friends and your father. When I moved to D.R I hated it because my step mother was a witch. I felt like I was in jail. I couldn’t use the phone to call your father or any of my friends back in CT.
ME: Do you have any siblings? What were they like growing up?
MOM: Yes two brothers. Michael the youngest who is 40 now and Eddie the oldest who is now 45.
Growing up my brother Eddie was very quiet sweet never bothered anybody. My brother Michael was sweet too and I used to boss him around, probably why he hates me now. I never had a younger sister so I made him be the younger sister I never had.
They never got in trouble, and every time we were all playing an they wasn’t being fair I would tell them “Im telling papi” and my dad would always believe me his little princess. And they would get a whooping!

I was the rebel child out of them all. When I did get in trouble I would always scream for help to Eddie and Michael. I remember one time my dad told my mother he was going to fix me and he locked me in the chicken coop. I screamed for Eddie through the window and they just stared at me. Eddie kept saying sorry I cant help you. Im not going in there with you. I cant even remember what I did. Maybe it was because I was just not listening to my mom. I must have been bout 7. This was when we were living in Puerto rico. My dad was so protected of my I couldn’t do anything I had to always be dress, show no skin, I couldn’t cut my hair it always had to be done. If he came home and I wasn’t dress or if my hair wasn’t done or if I was even bare foot my dad would have a fit and yell at my mother.

ME: What did you look like?
MOM: The same! My face has not changed. I only gained weigh and aged. I was always skinny with long dark brown curly hair. Thin eyebrows pointy long nose. Big elf ears, everything used to sick out so much more because I was so skinny.

ME: Can you tell me about your illness?
MOM: Yes I have MS.
ME: How did you find out?
MOM: Back in 2001 When I had car accident. I went to the doctors I had whiplash in my neck, my tongue was numb, and my right eye was blurry. They did a M.R.I and they discovered I have M.S. they sent me to the neurologist and that is when the treatment began.

ME: Do you look at your life differently now than before you were diagnosed?
MOM: Yes I do. I have to deal with a lot of back pains and muscle spasms. I can’t move fast like I used to do before. I used to be sad before when it started I felt very weak. But now I just hope to get better in time. I look at my life and just realize I have to take one day at a time.

bio poem

Line1: First name Jacqueline.
Line 2: Four traits that describe character (beautiful, loving, strong, and independent)
Line 3: Relative of (sister of Eduardo Perez and Michael Perez) {Mother of Ayisha and Ashley Dobson, Daughter or Magaly Reyes and Eduardo Perez}
Line 4: Lover of Bryant Dobson, Cooking, and the color yellow.
Line 5: Who feels loved, pain, and
Line 6: Who needs her family, her soap operas/talk shows, and to learn technology.
Line 7: Who fears getting worse in health, losing a home,
Line 8: Who gives an interview, honest answers, and funny stories.
Line 9: Who would like to see her children grow up to be successful, be healthy again, grow old with husband.
Line 10: Resident of Bridgeport.
Line 11: Last name Dobson.

10 point essay

What is Good Hair?

1.Good Hair has many definitions. Good hair should not be seen as one special type of hair. It is important to see all different types of hair as good because it can all be seen as beautiful. Limiting ourselves to a certain type of hair isn’t right.

2.I have a lot of friends that are black and say how they want to marry a guy with “good hair” so they can have pretty babies with nice long hair. My roommate tells me how she wants to marry a guy with Asian in him so her babies will be mixed and automatically have “good hair”. See how the desire for good hair goes to extreme. So it seems to be that she might be limiting herself to finding a man because her desire to have kids with “good hair”. Who knows how your kids hair may come out you can’t predict it. But whatever hair they do have it should be considered good hair. People with that mind set will pass that on to their kids and they will live with the constant question “do I have good hair?”

3.-30% to 34% of all hair products in the U.S. are purchased by African American women. And the film contends that hair weaves -- worn by women of all ethnicities but especially notable among black women -- make up about 65% of hair-care revenue.

-Historically, long, straight tresses -- along with pale, white skin -- defined beauty in the United States. Black women, our complexions the hues of a cocoa rainbow and our hair often kinky and short, didn't fit the Eurocentric ideal, and we were made to feel less soft, less lovely, less womanly.

-“Hair became a thing that we obsessed over, searing it into contrition with hot combs and lye, and assigning it the attributes of good (straight/wavy) and evil (naturally nappy.) Indeed, Madam C.J. Walker, a black woman widely regarded as America's first black female millionaire, earned her fortune devising products and techniques that made our hair "behave."

- It is estimated that hair weaves make up to 65% of the $9 billion hair business. That means a whole lot of people wear weaves. Not only black women, but Caucasian women also.

4.Good hair is like having the latest cell phone. Some people are blessed and have it already. And some will do anything to have it. While others are content with having any kind of cell phone and still think theirs is good because they haven’t fallen into societies trap of what is good or best, what you like or have should be how you can determine what is good.

5.Little black girls that have course, nappy, and short hair go to school and face humiliation because they don’t have hair like the white girls that is fine, straight, and long just because they don’t look like everyone else they get laughed at, picked on, and taunted with the phrase “you don’t have good hair.” It is sad that this idea of good hair starts at such a young age and it continues all through life.

6.Some people believe that good hair means to conform like to the European style like hair and the battle for better stronger and longer hair and they believe nappy hair is no good. Others contrast and say good hair isn’t the texture or how fine it is, good hair is keeping your hair maintain and healthy no matter what texture you have. They believe Good hair is how ever you want your hair to be and it should be accepted.

7.One of the causes of this issue is how the media portrays beauty with hair. Every magazine or model photos or any icon the woman have beautiful long full hair. Whether it’s a weave or a perm all the black woman hair has changed to what society says is beautiful. The effect is we see all our famous black woman with this type of hair we began to think what they have is beautiful and what we have is not and we must change and do whatever it takes to our hair to be beautiful like them.

8.“The idea that black hair is unsightly and unmanageable has been reinforced by the majority culture since slavery. Comparing black women and relaxing with white women and the quest for blondeness, as Rock has done, is facile and inaccurate. Black women covet straight hair not just for vanity’s sake, but for social and professional acceptance.”
-She is saying that the theory of good hair goes all the way back to slavery times. Black women hair has always been considered bad and seen in a negative way. To say the way a person hair is unprofessional isn’t fair, when that’s the hair they have been born with naturally. It isn’t fair to black woman that they have to conform because the dark nappy hair they were born with isn’t seen acceptable in society.

9.There is nothing cute about nappy thick hair. You can’t do anything to it. Who wants short course hair? Nobody! Good hair is the Euro-centric look. See all of our beautiful superstars, they have beautiful hair. We should all want that. Girls should do anything and everything to get their hair done like that to have good hair if they weren’t born with it. It must suck to be born with nappy hair. Save yourself the trouble of getting picked on and get a perm, everyone is doing it, why wouldn’t you?

10.A young black girl with course hair and doesn’t like it.

Me: What do you think about your hair?
Girl: I hate it, it’s so thick and poofy I can’t do anything with it. It says at the same length I wish it grew more.
Me: So since you hate it what do you do with it?
Girl: I just put it in a ponytail if I can’t get it done or I just get a weave. I had a perm once before but my hair so that option is out.
Me: A perm? What made you do that to your hair? You didn’t know the risk of the damage you might have caused?
Girl: Yea I knew, but I wanted my hair to be straight and silky. I was tired of the jokes I had to hear about my hair and tired of managing it. I wanted to have good hair and people to like it.
Me: Good hair? You think straight and silky is good hair?
Girl: yea, duh! Don’t you see how all the models and famous people look so beautiful with their long, silky, straight hair. I want hair like that! I want to be beautiful!
Me: Yea it’s nice, but I don’t think it will make someone beautiful just because that’s how their hair is. I think good hair can be your hair. Natural hair is beautiful. As long as it looks clean and it’s being maintained.

Thursday, March 4, 2010


just another black person is all you see.
just another black person why can't I just be me.

is it because the color of my skin that you can't see within
or the dark, thick texture of my hair that is so lovely, that you have made society see as ugly
is it because my features stand out
my eyes big and brown and not blue like you
or maybe because I dont speak the same way as you do

why can't you see me as a person I am and treat me with respect
I am no lower than you, I can act just as you
but I choose not to because I am not you just me
not just another black person just me
a beautiful person that has so much to offer and is just as equal of a human being as you
but you are to blind to see, so ..

just another black person is all you see.
just another black person why can't I just be me.

8 paragraph essay

In middle school I always compared myself to all the other girls in my class. I always wanted to fit in and look like the other girls. Starting from the fifth grade girls started to change and develop more.
In fifth grade my school started to show videos on how the female body changes and starts to go through puberty. By this time at least have of the girls in my class had their period but for me there was no sign of it coming anytime school. During recess the topics of discussed changed from “let’s play hopscotch!” to “did you get your period yet?” Every day I had the same answer “no, not yet.’ I felt left out.
As we move up to the six grade the girls in my class start to gain more weigh, develop breast and start to get curves. Once again I was the outcast. I felt like the ugly duckling in the crowd. The girls started now talking about what size bra they wear at recess and I was still wearing a training bra. Flat as a board weighing only 90 lbs. I would never express this feeling out loud, I just asked myself all the time “Why me?
Why do I have to be the only one late? While everyone is perfect and on time.”
Looking different from everyone wasn’t cool. It was like wearing a bright red coat in crowd. I stood out from all the girls. In every way possible I was the contrast of every girl in class, or at least that is what it felt like. Girls started to like boys and boys started to like girls. But you see the thing here is that boys only like the girls who had boobs and looked older so while everyone was busy making little boyfriends I still only had my best friends.
In the seventh grade I got my period and started to develop and was able to wear a real bra. I was in total shock and excited! Finally I will fit in; finally I will look like all the other girls. Now I felt that I was beautiful and becoming a young lady and the boys would start to like me.
Now that I look back I learned that I can’t go through life wanted to be like everyone else and comparing myself just because I am different. I have to accept that some things I have no control over and just happen on their own when they’re ready to.

experience that changed my life

It was just four years ago in March 2006. I got a call at 2
am from my ex boyfriend’s cousin saying that my ex boyfriend
Brian had gotten shot twice and he is being rushed to the
hospital. I dropped the phone and started to cry. This was the
first time I had ever gotten a phone call about something tragic
happening to someone close to me. Even though we were not
together as a couple we were still good friends. We had a tight
circle of friends since grammar school so our breakup didn’t
affect our friendship.
After I heard the bad news, I and our best friend rushed
to the hospital along with his family and other friends and prayer for him to be okay. The Good news is that he was going to be okay. He lost a lot of blood but made it in time to the hospital. Brian was a good kid never was into drama or violence he just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. This changed my whole outlook on life. You can’t take anything for granted not even your life because it can be taken away at any moment and you have no control of it. When he was able to see us he couldn’t stop telling us how much he loved us all. This made me realizes we should always tell people how much we care and express our true feelings because you never know when you will be able to again. Live lives to its fullest don’t wait for a life changing experience to make you realize what you have.